Tag: wifery

Having a full-time law enforcement hubby can be tricky to juggle schedules, frustrating when he is gone for twelve hours straight four to five days in a row because the training happened to fall in his long week, and at times downright stressful. But we have to remember why they do what they do, and why we do what we do. If you are like me, you have been called to be a wife and a mother first and foremost. Being a LEOW is a special role to play. There are some things I believe we can do to help make life a little better, and our families a little stronger. Twenty years from now, when I am reflecting on the days of having four young kiddos in the house, this is what I will remember doing to make our LEO family work…

1. Family Trips. Before my husband began his on-the-road training, we agreed to take at least one overnight family trip every quarter. These trips have been the best memories! Normally we keep them within two hours away, which will probably increase as the youngest grows out of toddlerhood. Planning involves finding the ideal “short week” to travel within and deciding which museum to visit. I am blessed to receive a membership to our local natural history museum from a family member every year for my birthday. Because this museum is ASTC-certified (Association of Science-Technology Centers), we qualify for the Travel Passport Program which allows free admission to multiple science centers and museums in just about every state as long as it is outside of a ninety-mile radius. There are at least five qualifying places within two hours which make for a wonderful quick overnight stint and some awesome experiences. Even if we didn’t receive the membership as a gift, it would be well worth the money, especially with four kids!

2. Date nights. My husband and I agreed to make sure we do at least one date night each month. This has been a variety of things, depending on the budget and expenses for the month or what events are happening. We are both UFC fans, so a few times a year we’ll go grab a drink and watch the fight at our favorite local bar (thankfully we don’t live in the same city as his department or he might see some familiar faces he previously cuffed or cited). Depending on what’s playing, we’ll go take advantage of “Customer Appreciation Day” at the local theater (since our “weekend” is often on a Monday and Tuesday). Sometimes we just need to mellow out so we’ll pick a night to watch a movie together on the couch, pour a glass of wine and call it an “At-Home Date Night.” Being that we don’t subscribe to cable, and aside from an occasional “Live PD” or “Officer 401” video on YouTube, we don’t really watch television so Movie Night is a treat (you know, a flick that is not animated). You just have to find your niche, and as wives, we usually get to pick  where we go or what we do… make sure to do something in his world once in a while even if he doesn’t necessarily ask for it.

3. Date days. We also make sure to date our kiddos once a month. Each child (except for the two-year-old; he has another year or two) gets to pick what he does or where he goes for a date day, within a $10-$20 budget and a half-hour drive. We try to alternate who goes with which parent each month also. Date days are to make sure nobody gets lost in the mix; they all get that one-on-one attention during their special time out. And it’s always fun to get a break from the daily routine of caring for four youngin’s.

4. Family nights. Just before our oldest turned three, he fell from a tall kitchen chair and broke his femur. Having an eight-month-old baby as well as the two year-old in a full leg cast led to a lot of movies being watched. From this came the tradition of Movie Night which ended up falling on Fridays. Once the oldest started school, Movie Night was highly sought after as a time to just chill out and cuddle with everyone. Eventually Cleaning Party* was added in, making Friday evening a time to “work hard and play hard” together. Movie Night was exchanged for Game Night upon participation in Screen-Free Week with our church group and ended up being so much fun that we now alternate. No matter the activity, Family Night is a time set aside for us to make sure we are catching up and having some fun in the simplicity of our home.

5. Overnight trips. My favorite! At least once a year, just the hubby and I go off somewhere overnight. I’m sure once the kids are older we’ll be doing this much more often, but for now, we don’t want them to overstay their welcome at the grandparents’ house. We usually stay within a couple of hours away and somewhere simple, but it is wonderful to get that time with just us. After all, you’ll be living with your husband a lot longer than you will be living with your children. Make sure you to be reminded what it’s like to be with just him again!  And it usually means someone else is cooking–yea! 

These are five things we have made sure to do to make our family work even before my husband became a LEO. We’ve had to revamp some things, but it still works even with shift work! By no means are we a perfect family—we are far from it! But twenty years from now, I know I will have no regrets in making these five things a habit, and I know our family is better because of them.