police wife – four crazies and a cop

travel review: the works- ohio center for history, arts, and technology

The Works: Ohio Center for History, Arts, and Technology is an amazing place (even better for free if you have a membership here or any other ASTC-accredited museum or science center). My kids went nuts over a plethora of hands-on interactive science-related activities on the first floor, beginning with a health and fitness exhibit with various fitness tests such as pull-ups (which I failed haha). Our little one then went off to the table with hundreds of magnetic blocks and other simple creative stations, while the older ones headed to exhibits with Dad that had more technology and buttons to push. The best part for a toddler or preschooler is the Tyke Lab in the back corner, complete with train table, dress-up area, puppet show stage, and even an ice cream parlor modeled after a Velvet Ice Cream Parlor, since their headquarters is in nearby Utica.

We then reconveined into the glass-blowing studio where we could watch Zach Layhew, the resident artist, work with paying customers to blow their own glass. Formal demonstrations are shown on certain days, as well as workshops (although I do need to mention they are not cheap). We then went to a small activity room while waiting for the planetarium show to begin, which was a nice quiet break where my husband and I could sit and watch as they played with various games, mini robots, and other STEM-related activities. In an effort to stay consistent in our parenting principles and not allow our children to leave until everything was cleaned up, we were unable to enter the planetarium show which we already had tickets for. When they say the show starts at 2 p.m., they mean it! Thankfully because of our membership, we did not pay for the tickets.

Upon wandering outside, we discovered an old train car (it is covered in case you go during inclement weather) that the boys loved! The train once belonged to the Jewett Car Company and has been restored and returned to its home town. Although I wasn’t able to read a whole lot of the history since the boys kept us moving, the company seemed to have played a huge role in the local economy at one point. We were able to board the train car, but the bell with the chain just in reach of at least three of the boys was a much bigger hit—the louder the better, of course.

After discovering the second building had a cool-looking restaurant, but not much for touring, we turned back around to check out the second floor of the main building, and I’m glad we did! The second floor is more of a museum than a science center like its counterpart beneath. As soon as we reached the top of the stairs, the boys went straight to the flight simulator and the Spirit of Columbus where they took turns flying a plane on a computer screen (we had a lot of crashes, going to need a lot of training) and sitting in the cockpit of a real, full-size plane once flown by Jerrie Mock, the first female to circle the globe.

We viewed a few more historical pieces, a lot of which was from the Pure Oil Company based out of Dayton, we found ourselves in an old-fashioned village. Different rooms showcased various professions and shops of the day. Our favorite was the game room where we stayed and played checkers, Space Force, and “chess” (this was more of the little one and me taking turns galloping horses across the board), and learned of Ohio’s history with the Etch-a-Sketch as well as Uno. It was a wonderful, cocooned family moment.

There were more exhibits involving local Native American tribes and prehistoric wildlife on the other side of the second floor, but we were past due on nap time and patience. Overall, it was a wonderful place for the kids and us. Everything besides the train car exhibit is stroller-friendly, although we did not need the stroller with our toddler. Next time we (as in I :)) plan to visit the Ye Old Mill where Velvet ice cream is made now that I know it is nearby. If you are in the area on a weekday between May 1st and October 31st you can even take a free public tour of the facility.

book review: tinman to ironman

Before my husband became an officer, I did not have a clue what law enforcement entailed. I just knew it was those men in blue (or black) who gave me multiple speeding, failure to control, and illegal right turn tickets. They were the men and women in the patrol car waiting to “bust” me going ten, okay twenty, over on the freeway. Thankfully I got my act together before my twenties and improved my driving record. Once my hubby entered the police world, I got a taste through his stories of what an officer would do on a regular basis and some of it came as a shocker, needless to say. But when he decided to go into law enforcement full-time, I am grateful to have listened and read material from Chris Swanson—motivational speaker, four-time Ironman finisher, and Undersheriff of Genesee County, Michigan.

In Chris Swanson’s first book, Tinman to Ironman: 26.2 Ways to Crush Your Failures and Transform Your Life Today!, he teaches 26.2 lessons to transform your life, specifically family, finances, faith, and fitness, exemplifying how strengthening those areas leak over to all areas, allowing for a successfully balanced life. Chris shares a little bit of his upbringing as a “tinman,” highlighting the moment he was cut from the baseball team in ninth grade despite being the “home-run king” in a previous environment. This devastating time of his young life caused him to give up on his physical life for over a decade. Like so many of us, Chris allowed one failure to effect the rest of his life until he decided to changed it.

He goes through lessons he has learned along the way, whether it be in athletics or in law enforcement. I believe it should be a requirement for not only anyone thinking about entering the police world, but also the spouse of significant other of those going through the academy. The stories not only prepare for the possibly gruesome road ahead and not only how to survive some of the moments to come, but how to thrive.

For me, I believe Chris’ material helped me to be a better law enforcement wife. I remember when my husband had his first DOA (dead on arrival). I’ll leave gruesome details for another time, but I was able to sit and listen to my husband tell me about what he saw and experienced without cringing. I believe the stories I read in Chris’ book helped to prepare me. I want to be someone he can talk to about anything, even it includes a gory image of an event he had to endure. I also believe that if more people, whether it be a “normal” member of the public or a law enforcement spouse, can understand a little more of what these heroes go through, we would have a lot more respect for them as public figures and as husbands and wives.

So if you are married or dating a LEO, related to one in some other way, or just want to know more about what it is like in their world and want to transform your life, Tinman to Ironman is an amazing read that will leave you with lessons you can take to the grave.

for once they cared

“For once, people actually gave two sh**s.” These are the words that came from my husband’s lips as he described what he felt passing hundreds of people in his patrol car among the procession. This was no parade with candy and clowns. This day was different. This was a sea of blue escorting the recently fallen officer to the auditorium where hundreds of law enforcement officers and family would gather to honor a hero who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Please understand my husband has the utmost respect for the public. He cares, otherwise he wouldn’t be an officer putting his life on the line to serve and protect every day. But with all the backlash and disrespect law enforcement receives in today’s society, it was amazing for him to see cars pull over on the overpass to pay their respects by silently watching the procession of law enforcement vehicles, led by the hurst and family. Employees from local retailers, passerby’s, and even the staff of a dentist office led by a gentleman in scrubs stopped their daily routines to come out and support the blood and blue family.

My four boys and I stood near a group of other police wives and their children to watch as the line of flashing lights drove by, displaying our thin blue line flags the kids made earlier in the day. The image will never leave my mind—a sea of flashing lights covering the highway coming over the hill, a wave of red and blue in utter silence. It just reminded me there is strength in numbers and the law enforcement community not only has numbers, but it truly is a brotherhood like no other. I was blessed to feel the love of a sisterhood as well among the families, after being invited to a play date with two wives I just met that day, as well as learning of the childcare network one of the police wives group set up so the wives of the local officers could attend the funeral. There is an amazing trust that cannot be broken by shots from an irate criminal or a liberal media.

This whole anti-police movement I really do believe is aimed at the wrong people. These officers being criticized so often for their attitudes towards suspects or racial profiling are really just doing their job. A lot of the training involves certain methods for a reason. They graduate police academy as “peace officers” and yet an angry suicidal pulls the trigger aimed at the very officer who was merely answering the call of a concerned estranged wife*. I believe the problem therein lies.

Often times, many of these activists speak out before having all the information, quickly assuming a badge represents a man or woman hungry for power and authority, quick to pull the trigger when his respect is at risk. Edmund Burke said, “Evil prevails when good men do nothing.” All of you good people out there who know the truth must speak out. Say hello and thank you to your local officers. Thank them for answering the armed robbery call and chasing down the culprit so he won’t terrorize your community again. Thank them for catching speeders so one more life can be spared, even if it means you may have to pay a fine once in a while for going ten over. Thank them for blocking traffic while trying to finish that crash investigation, because one day it may be you they are helping. Please teach your children that police officers are the good guys, even if they do carry a gun, because they are.

I think that’s what my husband meant—for once, even if for two seconds, people cared. People realized what these officers go through, maybe if just one day of their lives. People remembered who these officers really are. They are good men and women who feel a constant tug on their hearts to serve and protect in whatever way they are called. And in the wake of tragedy and mourning, people stopped to remember these men and women are truly servants and protectors, and really do make our world a safer place.

*R.I.P. Trooper Clark. Thank you for service. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/nicholas-clark-cops-new-york-state-trooper-shot-dead-responding-to-call-over-suicidal-man/

installs to outlaws

I never knew or truly appreciated what an officer had to go through to get to the position where he or she is currently serving. I did not realize how many people desire to become a peace officer either until I saw it first hand with my own husband. Some make it, and many don’t. My husband worked his behind off to be in the first group and his story is truly awe-inspiring.

I take you back about a year and a half ago, when my husband just had his ten-year anniversary working in an install bay, putting in car radios and remote start/security systems into an array of vehicles. He enjoyed the job for a long time, but it was getting old. And then came the breaking point…

In November 2017, my husband was diagnosed with a herniated disc with sciatica. Between his type of work and a corner-cutting chiropractor, he was left with back pain that sent a shooting sensation down his leg, causing him to walk hunched over with a limp and wake up in dire pain multiple times throughout the night for five months straight. He tried everything he could find to avoid surgery… visits to the neuromuscular massage therapy, getting stretched on an inversion table, at-home stretches and massages, physical therapy. To no avail. Finally we gave in to surgery in March 2018 and bam, he was cured.

This is when we decided God was calling us to something else. He even gave us a sign when we got to sit behind Chris Swanson on a plane ride home after a convention where we heard Chris speak. Chris is the undersheriff of Genesee County in Michigan, a motivational speaker, author, and a huge influencer for my husband to go into law enforcement. And it didn’t help that Chris shouted out to those around us that “This guy is going to police academy!” (or maybe it did).

After a couple months off to heal, my husband went back to installing to continue to provide for his family of six. But we knew what he was supposed to be doing. Only four months after surgery, he passed his first physical agility exam and began the process of interviewing for a peace officer position.

That’s when we knew it was game time. Thankfully we fell in with some amazing mentors when we were the ripe ole age of twenty, and were able to save enough money (and pay off a huge chunk of debt to decrease expenses) through their mentorship and the Financial Fitness principles taught by LIFE Leadership, and had enough in the savings account for my husband to take a sabbatical from work to attend police academy.

Meanwhile, all four kids only getting bigger and more expensive, we pressed on through the academy, trying to pinch pennies and still investing in our family as well as in the police interview process, which is not cheap either. These men and women have to pay for physical fitness tests, paper tests, and then invest time and gas money into background checks, panel interviews, chief interviews, and more. It is truly amazing what they go through to do what they are called to do.

Finally we were blessed with a conditional offer from a local department just prior to the completion of academy. About a month after graduation, my amazing husband passed the state test and was sworn in two days later. He has since done some amazing things on the job, even still in training. I could not be more proud of him, and could not appreciate law enforcement officers more after watching first hand what they do in order to serve and protect our communities. Give an officer a smile, a high five, or even a thumbs up today. Let them know you appreciate what they do!

making a leo family work

Having a full-time law enforcement hubby can be tricky to juggle schedules, frustrating when he is gone for twelve hours straight four to five days in a row because the training happened to fall in his long week, and at times downright stressful. But we have to remember why they do what they do, and why we do what we do. If you are like me, you have been called to be a wife and a mother first and foremost. Being a LEOW is a special role to play. There are some things I believe we can do to help make life a little better, and our families a little stronger. Twenty years from now, when I am reflecting on the days of having four young kiddos in the house, this is what I will remember doing to make our LEO family work…

1. Family Trips. Before my husband began his on-the-road training, we agreed to take at least one overnight family trip every quarter. These trips have been the best memories! Normally we keep them within two hours away, which will probably increase as the youngest grows out of toddlerhood. Planning involves finding the ideal “short week” to travel within and deciding which museum to visit. I am blessed to receive a membership to our local natural history museum from a family member every year for my birthday. Because this museum is ASTC-certified (Association of Science-Technology Centers), we qualify for the Travel Passport Program which allows free admission to multiple science centers and museums in just about every state as long as it is outside of a ninety-mile radius. There are at least five qualifying places within two hours which make for a wonderful quick overnight stint and some awesome experiences. Even if we didn’t receive the membership as a gift, it would be well worth the money, especially with four kids!

2. Date nights. My husband and I agreed to make sure we do at least one date night each month. This has been a variety of things, depending on the budget and expenses for the month or what events are happening. We are both UFC fans, so a few times a year we’ll go grab a drink and watch the fight at our favorite local bar (thankfully we don’t live in the same city as his department or he might see some familiar faces he previously cuffed or cited). Depending on what’s playing, we’ll go take advantage of “Customer Appreciation Day” at the local theater (since our “weekend” is often on a Monday and Tuesday). Sometimes we just need to mellow out so we’ll pick a night to watch a movie together on the couch, pour a glass of wine and call it an “At-Home Date Night.” Being that we don’t subscribe to cable, and aside from an occasional “Live PD” or “Officer 401” video on YouTube, we don’t really watch television so Movie Night is a treat (you know, a flick that is not animated). You just have to find your niche, and as wives, we usually get to pick where we go or what we do… make sure to do something in his world once in a while even if he doesn’t necessarily ask for it.

3. Date days. We also make sure to date our kiddos once a month. Each child (except for the two-year-old; he has another year or two) gets to pick what he does or where he goes for a date day, within a $10-$20 budget and a half-hour drive. We try to alternate who goes with which parent each month also. Date days are to make sure nobody gets lost in the mix; they all get that one-on-one attention during their special time out. And it’s always fun to get a break from the daily routine of caring for four youngin’s.

4. Family nights. Just before our oldest turned three, he fell from a tall kitchen chair and broke his femur. Having an eight-month-old baby as well as the two year-old in a full leg cast led to a lot of movies being watched. From this came the tradition of Movie Night which ended up falling on Fridays. Once the oldest started school, Movie Night was highly sought after as a time to just chill out and cuddle with everyone. Eventually Cleaning Party* was added in, making Friday evening a time to “work hard and play hard” together. Movie Night was exchanged for Game Night upon participation in Screen-Free Week with our church group and ended up being so much fun that we now alternate. No matter the activity, Family Night is a time set aside for us to make sure we are catching up and having some fun in the simplicity of our home.

5. Overnight trips. My favorite! At least once a year, just the hubby and I go off somewhere overnight. I’m sure once the kids are older we’ll be doing this much more often, but for now, we don’t want them to overstay their welcome at the grandparents’ house. We usually stay within a couple of hours away and somewhere simple, but it is wonderful to get that time with just us. After all, you’ll be living with your husband a lot longer than you will be living with your children. Make sure you to be reminded what it’s like to be with just him again! And it usually means someone else is cooking–yea!

These are five things we have made sure to do to make our family work even before my husband became a LEO. We’ve had to revamp some things, but it still works even with shift work! By no means are we a perfect family—we are far from it! But twenty years from now, I know I will have no regrets in making these five things a habit, and I know our family is better because of them.

*Cleaning Party- a weekly time on a set night when each child picks a chore from a hat (they now work on rotation), Disney music is blared, and the floors and bathrooms get scrubbed/vacuumed, followed by a half cup of pop (since pop is only allowed at “parties,” this makes it a special treat).