police – four crazies and a cop

travel review: pymatuning pontoon-ing

I am no law enforcement officer so I’m not going to pretend like I actually know what it’s like to be out on the beat everyday. But I do see what it is like when an officer walks through the door at the end of his shift and hear what kinds of things he dealt with that day or night, which is why we have found it extremely gratifying to make time to get away pretty often, whether it be checking out an open house at an art center with the kids or hiking in the woods. Yes, I know there is a lot to be done at home, but the kids aren’t young forever and our emotional and mental health as well as our marriage needs refreshed.

One of our favorite now-annual trips is to rent a pontoon at Pymatuning Lake on the border of Ohio and Pennsylvania. This was our third year going with my parents (and this time one of my sisters), and is something we look forward to every year. It

is one of the few times we are all able to just sit and be still for hours on end, and just admire the creation around us. And somehow, as soon as we step on the boat, attitudes are wonderful and the kids don’t even argue. I don’t know what it is but it truly is an amazing experience!

We normally bring fishing poles, books, and maybe a few toys for the kids. And lots of snacks! This vast body of water allows us to just stop thinking about everything that has to get done and just be a family. If you or anyone in your family are feeling burnt out or just need some time away together, any type of boat trip is an amazing experience with so many benefits! I am highly considering moving to a house boat actually… everything seems to be so perfect on the lake!

If you have time afterwards, the Spillway is a wonderfully disgusting, yet simple place to go for a stroll, feed the carp, and maybe even stop for ice cream. It was only fifteen minutes from the livery and made for a peaceful ending to our day before our long drive home.

things we may or may not be doing in ten years on duty

I thought I would have a “Self-Care Saturday” evening after the kids were in bed since hubby was working nights, beginning with an awesome yoga session on my Nike Training Club app and then watching some cop videos on YouTube in an Epsom salt bath. I found an older vlog from Officer401 in which he mentioned a couple of things rookie cops tend to do differently than veteran cops. Now my husband went into law enforcement at age 29, which is older than the majority of rookie officers and may effect some habits and mindsets from the get-go, but I found it fun to think about some of the habits he and I have now, and what may or may not change in ten years.

Self-advertising… My husband and I are all for showing police support, but in today’s society I can’t help but be glad my husband does not walk around with his badge on his sleeve so to speak. I love being a law enforcement family, but we do not want to be a walking target. We’ll wear our police support shirts occasionally, but you will not find him gun and badge out when he’s not in uniform.
Listening to the police scanner app…. It sounds like often times rookies will do this off-duty, but my husband does not. I love listening to the scanner (only while he is at work) since I am a journalist by nature, and love hearing all the action. Most of all, I love hearing my husband’s voice, especially when he hasn’t been able to text me back for a few hours. I paid for this the other night though when I fell asleep with the scanner on and was shocked awake at 3 a.m., hearing my husband’s partner yelling “He’s running!” and then of course staying awake to hear what was going on, all the while dropping to my knees praying the suspect was unarmed.
Looking for trouble off-duty… My husband is really good at always being aware of his surroundings, and has dealt with things off-duty, but he doesn’t go looking for it. There have been multiple occasions, even prior to becoming a certified officer, where we called in potential drunk drivers (or high with kids in the back seat in one instance… I found this out after I was summoned to court as a witness only because I was the one who made the phone call while my husband was driving) and in multiple cases were correct, as well as suspicious vehicles. However, he is not one to nitpick on technicalities or to play “Johnny Law” and call out someone participating in illegal activities while off duty.
Posting positive police news with my husband’s picture in it… He is not one to toot his own horn, but I love to toot it for him. Because I am a very proud police wife, I love to post stuff about him. The downside is that I don’t know everyone’s intentions on social media or how they view things, even those I am “friends” with, and they don’t all need to know everything.
Not having thick skin… My husband is way better at this then me. Hopefully in ten years I’ll grow in this area. I remember we were at a little get together, I guess you could call it a party, and I overheard my husband chatting with a man he just met who was doing a little crap-talking about the police. My husband played it cool, non-chanlanty agreeing that some officers could be jerks (or something along those lines). In hindsight, it was funny, but in the moment, oh I wanted to say a few words!
Doughnut eating… I’m not sure if this is more of a rookie or a veteran stigma, but from what I am aware of, my husband does not eat doughnuts in uniform aside from maybe the occasional sweet dropped off at the station from an appreciative resident. Although, we both will have a doughnut at home every now and again 🙂

These are just a few of the quirks I have found to be common among rookie officers (and wives in my case) based on books I have read and videos I have watched written and produced by veterans. I guess we’ll have to see which of these he and I will still be doing or not doing after ten years on duty.

for once they cared

“For once, people actually gave two sh**s.” These are the words that came from my husband’s lips as he described what he felt passing hundreds of people in his patrol car among the procession. This was no parade with candy and clowns. This day was different. This was a sea of blue escorting the recently fallen officer to the auditorium where hundreds of law enforcement officers and family would gather to honor a hero who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Please understand my husband has the utmost respect for the public. He cares, otherwise he wouldn’t be an officer putting his life on the line to serve and protect every day. But with all the backlash and disrespect law enforcement receives in today’s society, it was amazing for him to see cars pull over on the overpass to pay their respects by silently watching the procession of law enforcement vehicles, led by the hurst and family. Employees from local retailers, passerby’s, and even the staff of a dentist office led by a gentleman in scrubs stopped their daily routines to come out and support the blood and blue family.

My four boys and I stood near a group of other police wives and their children to watch as the line of flashing lights drove by, displaying our thin blue line flags the kids made earlier in the day. The image will never leave my mind—a sea of flashing lights covering the highway coming over the hill, a wave of red and blue in utter silence. It just reminded me there is strength in numbers and the law enforcement community not only has numbers, but it truly is a brotherhood like no other. I was blessed to feel the love of a sisterhood as well among the families, after being invited to a play date with two wives I just met that day, as well as learning of the childcare network one of the police wives group set up so the wives of the local officers could attend the funeral. There is an amazing trust that cannot be broken by shots from an irate criminal or a liberal media.

This whole anti-police movement I really do believe is aimed at the wrong people. These officers being criticized so often for their attitudes towards suspects or racial profiling are really just doing their job. A lot of the training involves certain methods for a reason. They graduate police academy as “peace officers” and yet an angry suicidal pulls the trigger aimed at the very officer who was merely answering the call of a concerned estranged wife*. I believe the problem therein lies.

Often times, many of these activists speak out before having all the information, quickly assuming a badge represents a man or woman hungry for power and authority, quick to pull the trigger when his respect is at risk. Edmund Burke said, “Evil prevails when good men do nothing.” All of you good people out there who know the truth must speak out. Say hello and thank you to your local officers. Thank them for answering the armed robbery call and chasing down the culprit so he won’t terrorize your community again. Thank them for catching speeders so one more life can be spared, even if it means you may have to pay a fine once in a while for going ten over. Thank them for blocking traffic while trying to finish that crash investigation, because one day it may be you they are helping. Please teach your children that police officers are the good guys, even if they do carry a gun, because they are.

I think that’s what my husband meant—for once, even if for two seconds, people cared. People realized what these officers go through, maybe if just one day of their lives. People remembered who these officers really are. They are good men and women who feel a constant tug on their hearts to serve and protect in whatever way they are called. And in the wake of tragedy and mourning, people stopped to remember these men and women are truly servants and protectors, and really do make our world a safer place.

*R.I.P. Trooper Clark. Thank you for service. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/nicholas-clark-cops-new-york-state-trooper-shot-dead-responding-to-call-over-suicidal-man/

if you only knew

Earlier today as I sat down, I decided to do a quick scroll through Facebook and saw a picture of two girls in softball uniforms, at least one of them the daughter of a police officer, with some writing on the their arms that made me do a double take. Written on them were the last names of two local police officers who were shot and killed going to a 911 hang-up call just a few short months ago. They had written the names to honor those two families who would not be showering their fathers with hugs and gifts today for the first time. If they only knew that last year’s Father’s Day would be their last with their daddies…

My heart aches for those five children who lost their fathers and the two wives who lost their husbands on that day.

As I looked around at the decorations the boys stayed up late last night to hang, it made me treasure once again every moment we have together. The morbid thought did cross my mind as we ran streamer across the ceiling and blew up balloons that there was a chance my husband and their daddy would not be home in the morning to see all that they did.

Just the other day, while I was sitting around the table having dinner with my children and playing outside, my husband was in the middle of the woods for hours with four other officers looking for a man who fled after being pulled over for a simple traffic violation, presumed to be armed. I missed this call on the scanner and was not aware of this until the following morning, but it was one of those situations that make you ensure to cherish your marriage every single moment. If I only knew what situation my husband would be in that night…

The emotional toil of being an officer or being a loved one at home, waiting anxiously for that officer to walk through the door, could make a person crazy if they focus on what could go wrong. But instead we try to focus on what could go right, look at the difference our LEO has made and continues to make, and honor the fallen who made the ultimate sacrifice. Although really it’s their families that made the biggest sacrifice. If people only knew what an officer, a soldier, any first responder really, and their families go through on a daily basis…

Most importantly, we do our best to remember that no matter what happens, we’ll all be reunited someday in a place where there is no injury, no sickness, no criminals, and no death. Knowing that is best reassurance possible.

installs to outlaws

I never knew or truly appreciated what an officer had to go through to get to the position where he or she is currently serving. I did not realize how many people desire to become a peace officer either until I saw it first hand with my own husband. Some make it, and many don’t. My husband worked his behind off to be in the first group and his story is truly awe-inspiring.

I take you back about a year and a half ago, when my husband just had his ten-year anniversary working in an install bay, putting in car radios and remote start/security systems into an array of vehicles. He enjoyed the job for a long time, but it was getting old. And then came the breaking point…

In November 2017, my husband was diagnosed with a herniated disc with sciatica. Between his type of work and a corner-cutting chiropractor, he was left with back pain that sent a shooting sensation down his leg, causing him to walk hunched over with a limp and wake up in dire pain multiple times throughout the night for five months straight. He tried everything he could find to avoid surgery… visits to the neuromuscular massage therapy, getting stretched on an inversion table, at-home stretches and massages, physical therapy. To no avail. Finally we gave in to surgery in March 2018 and bam, he was cured.

This is when we decided God was calling us to something else. He even gave us a sign when we got to sit behind Chris Swanson on a plane ride home after a convention where we heard Chris speak. Chris is the undersheriff of Genesee County in Michigan, a motivational speaker, author, and a huge influencer for my husband to go into law enforcement. And it didn’t help that Chris shouted out to those around us that “This guy is going to police academy!” (or maybe it did).

After a couple months off to heal, my husband went back to installing to continue to provide for his family of six. But we knew what he was supposed to be doing. Only four months after surgery, he passed his first physical agility exam and began the process of interviewing for a peace officer position.

That’s when we knew it was game time. Thankfully we fell in with some amazing mentors when we were the ripe ole age of twenty, and were able to save enough money (and pay off a huge chunk of debt to decrease expenses) through their mentorship and the Financial Fitness principles taught by LIFE Leadership, and had enough in the savings account for my husband to take a sabbatical from work to attend police academy.

Meanwhile, all four kids only getting bigger and more expensive, we pressed on through the academy, trying to pinch pennies and still investing in our family as well as in the police interview process, which is not cheap either. These men and women have to pay for physical fitness tests, paper tests, and then invest time and gas money into background checks, panel interviews, chief interviews, and more. It is truly amazing what they go through to do what they are called to do.

Finally we were blessed with a conditional offer from a local department just prior to the completion of academy. About a month after graduation, my amazing husband passed the state test and was sworn in two days later. He has since done some amazing things on the job, even still in training. I could not be more proud of him, and could not appreciate law enforcement officers more after watching first hand what they do in order to serve and protect our communities. Give an officer a smile, a high five, or even a thumbs up today. Let them know you appreciate what they do!

making a leo family work

Having a full-time law enforcement hubby can be tricky to juggle schedules, frustrating when he is gone for twelve hours straight four to five days in a row because the training happened to fall in his long week, and at times downright stressful. But we have to remember why they do what they do, and why we do what we do. If you are like me, you have been called to be a wife and a mother first and foremost. Being a LEOW is a special role to play. There are some things I believe we can do to help make life a little better, and our families a little stronger. Twenty years from now, when I am reflecting on the days of having four young kiddos in the house, this is what I will remember doing to make our LEO family work…

1. Family Trips. Before my husband began his on-the-road training, we agreed to take at least one overnight family trip every quarter. These trips have been the best memories! Normally we keep them within two hours away, which will probably increase as the youngest grows out of toddlerhood. Planning involves finding the ideal “short week” to travel within and deciding which museum to visit. I am blessed to receive a membership to our local natural history museum from a family member every year for my birthday. Because this museum is ASTC-certified (Association of Science-Technology Centers), we qualify for the Travel Passport Program which allows free admission to multiple science centers and museums in just about every state as long as it is outside of a ninety-mile radius. There are at least five qualifying places within two hours which make for a wonderful quick overnight stint and some awesome experiences. Even if we didn’t receive the membership as a gift, it would be well worth the money, especially with four kids!

2. Date nights. My husband and I agreed to make sure we do at least one date night each month. This has been a variety of things, depending on the budget and expenses for the month or what events are happening. We are both UFC fans, so a few times a year we’ll go grab a drink and watch the fight at our favorite local bar (thankfully we don’t live in the same city as his department or he might see some familiar faces he previously cuffed or cited). Depending on what’s playing, we’ll go take advantage of “Customer Appreciation Day” at the local theater (since our “weekend” is often on a Monday and Tuesday). Sometimes we just need to mellow out so we’ll pick a night to watch a movie together on the couch, pour a glass of wine and call it an “At-Home Date Night.” Being that we don’t subscribe to cable, and aside from an occasional “Live PD” or “Officer 401” video on YouTube, we don’t really watch television so Movie Night is a treat (you know, a flick that is not animated). You just have to find your niche, and as wives, we usually get to pick where we go or what we do… make sure to do something in his world once in a while even if he doesn’t necessarily ask for it.

3. Date days. We also make sure to date our kiddos once a month. Each child (except for the two-year-old; he has another year or two) gets to pick what he does or where he goes for a date day, within a $10-$20 budget and a half-hour drive. We try to alternate who goes with which parent each month also. Date days are to make sure nobody gets lost in the mix; they all get that one-on-one attention during their special time out. And it’s always fun to get a break from the daily routine of caring for four youngin’s.

4. Family nights. Just before our oldest turned three, he fell from a tall kitchen chair and broke his femur. Having an eight-month-old baby as well as the two year-old in a full leg cast led to a lot of movies being watched. From this came the tradition of Movie Night which ended up falling on Fridays. Once the oldest started school, Movie Night was highly sought after as a time to just chill out and cuddle with everyone. Eventually Cleaning Party* was added in, making Friday evening a time to “work hard and play hard” together. Movie Night was exchanged for Game Night upon participation in Screen-Free Week with our church group and ended up being so much fun that we now alternate. No matter the activity, Family Night is a time set aside for us to make sure we are catching up and having some fun in the simplicity of our home.

5. Overnight trips. My favorite! At least once a year, just the hubby and I go off somewhere overnight. I’m sure once the kids are older we’ll be doing this much more often, but for now, we don’t want them to overstay their welcome at the grandparents’ house. We usually stay within a couple of hours away and somewhere simple, but it is wonderful to get that time with just us. After all, you’ll be living with your husband a lot longer than you will be living with your children. Make sure you to be reminded what it’s like to be with just him again! And it usually means someone else is cooking–yea!

These are five things we have made sure to do to make our family work even before my husband became a LEO. We’ve had to revamp some things, but it still works even with shift work! By no means are we a perfect family—we are far from it! But twenty years from now, I know I will have no regrets in making these five things a habit, and I know our family is better because of them.

*Cleaning Party- a weekly time on a set night when each child picks a chore from a hat (they now work on rotation), Disney music is blared, and the floors and bathrooms get scrubbed/vacuumed, followed by a half cup of pop (since pop is only allowed at “parties,” this makes it a special treat).