Police – four crazies and a cop

book review: tinman to ironman

Before my husband became an officer, I did not have a clue what law enforcement entailed. I just knew it was those men in blue (or black) who gave me multiple speeding, failure to control, and illegal right turn tickets. They were the men and women in the patrol car waiting to “bust” me going ten, okay twenty, over on the freeway. Thankfully I got my act together before my twenties and improved my driving record. Once my hubby entered the police world, I got a taste through his stories of what an officer would do on a regular basis and some of it came as a shocker, needless to say. But when he decided to go into law enforcement full-time, I am grateful to have listened and read material from Chris Swanson—motivational speaker, four-time Ironman finisher, and Undersheriff of Genesee County, Michigan.

In Chris Swanson’s first book, Tinman to Ironman: 26.2 Ways to Crush Your Failures and Transform Your Life Today!, he teaches 26.2 lessons to transform your life, specifically family, finances, faith, and fitness, exemplifying how strengthening those areas leak over to all areas, allowing for a successfully balanced life. Chris shares a little bit of his upbringing as a “tinman,” highlighting the moment he was cut from the baseball team in ninth grade despite being the “home-run king” in a previous environment. This devastating time of his young life caused him to give up on his physical life for over a decade. Like so many of us, Chris allowed one failure to effect the rest of his life until he decided to changed it.

He goes through lessons he has learned along the way, whether it be in athletics or in law enforcement. I believe it should be a requirement for not only anyone thinking about entering the police world, but also the spouse of significant other of those going through the academy. The stories not only prepare for the possibly gruesome road ahead and not only how to survive some of the moments to come, but how to thrive.

For me, I believe Chris’ material helped me to be a better law enforcement wife. I remember when my husband had his first DOA (dead on arrival). I’ll leave gruesome details for another time, but I was able to sit and listen to my husband tell me about what he saw and experienced without cringing. I believe the stories I read in Chris’ book helped to prepare me. I want to be someone he can talk to about anything, even it includes a gory image of an event he had to endure. I also believe that if more people, whether it be a “normal” member of the public or a law enforcement spouse, can understand a little more of what these heroes go through, we would have a lot more respect for them as public figures and as husbands and wives.

So if you are married or dating a LEO, related to one in some other way, or just want to know more about what it is like in their world and want to transform your life, Tinman to Ironman is an amazing read that will leave you with lessons you can take to the grave.

things we may or may not be doing in ten years on duty

I thought I would have a “Self-Care Saturday” evening after the kids were in bed since hubby was working nights, beginning with an awesome yoga session on my Nike Training Club app and then watching some cop videos on YouTube in an Epsom salt bath. I found an older vlog from Officer401 in which he mentioned a couple of things rookie cops tend to do differently than veteran cops. Now my husband went into law enforcement at age 29, which is older than the majority of rookie officers and may effect some habits and mindsets from the get-go, but I found it fun to think about some of the habits he and I have now, and what may or may not change in ten years.

Self-advertising… My husband and I are all for showing police support, but in today’s society I can’t help but be glad my husband does not walk around with his badge on his sleeve so to speak. I love being a law enforcement family, but we do not want to be a walking target. We’ll wear our police support shirts occasionally, but you will not find him gun and badge out when he’s not in uniform.
Listening to the police scanner app…. It sounds like often times rookies will do this off-duty, but my husband does not. I love listening to the scanner (only while he is at work) since I am a journalist by nature, and love hearing all the action. Most of all, I love hearing my husband’s voice, especially when he hasn’t been able to text me back for a few hours. I paid for this the other night though when I fell asleep with the scanner on and was shocked awake at 3 a.m., hearing my husband’s partner yelling “He’s running!” and then of course staying awake to hear what was going on, all the while dropping to my knees praying the suspect was unarmed.
Looking for trouble off-duty… My husband is really good at always being aware of his surroundings, and has dealt with things off-duty, but he doesn’t go looking for it. There have been multiple occasions, even prior to becoming a certified officer, where we called in potential drunk drivers (or high with kids in the back seat in one instance… I found this out after I was summoned to court as a witness only because I was the one who made the phone call while my husband was driving) and in multiple cases were correct, as well as suspicious vehicles. However, he is not one to nitpick on technicalities or to play “Johnny Law” and call out someone participating in illegal activities while off duty.
Posting positive police news with my husband’s picture in it… He is not one to toot his own horn, but I love to toot it for him. Because I am a very proud police wife, I love to post stuff about him. The downside is that I don’t know everyone’s intentions on social media or how they view things, even those I am “friends” with, and they don’t all need to know everything.
Not having thick skin… My husband is way better at this then me. Hopefully in ten years I’ll grow in this area. I remember we were at a little get together, I guess you could call it a party, and I overheard my husband chatting with a man he just met who was doing a little crap-talking about the police. My husband played it cool, non-chanlanty agreeing that some officers could be jerks (or something along those lines). In hindsight, it was funny, but in the moment, oh I wanted to say a few words!
Doughnut eating… I’m not sure if this is more of a rookie or a veteran stigma, but from what I am aware of, my husband does not eat doughnuts in uniform aside from maybe the occasional sweet dropped off at the station from an appreciative resident. Although, we both will have a doughnut at home every now and again 🙂

These are just a few of the quirks I have found to be common among rookie officers (and wives in my case) based on books I have read and videos I have watched written and produced by veterans. I guess we’ll have to see which of these he and I will still be doing or not doing after ten years on duty.

for once they cared

“For once, people actually gave two sh**s.” These are the words that came from my husband’s lips as he described what he felt passing hundreds of people in his patrol car among the procession. This was no parade with candy and clowns. This day was different. This was a sea of blue escorting the recently fallen officer to the auditorium where hundreds of law enforcement officers and family would gather to honor a hero who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Please understand my husband has the utmost respect for the public. He cares, otherwise he wouldn’t be an officer putting his life on the line to serve and protect every day. But with all the backlash and disrespect law enforcement receives in today’s society, it was amazing for him to see cars pull over on the overpass to pay their respects by silently watching the procession of law enforcement vehicles, led by the hurst and family. Employees from local retailers, passerby’s, and even the staff of a dentist office led by a gentleman in scrubs stopped their daily routines to come out and support the blood and blue family.

My four boys and I stood near a group of other police wives and their children to watch as the line of flashing lights drove by, displaying our thin blue line flags the kids made earlier in the day. The image will never leave my mind—a sea of flashing lights covering the highway coming over the hill, a wave of red and blue in utter silence. It just reminded me there is strength in numbers and the law enforcement community not only has numbers, but it truly is a brotherhood like no other. I was blessed to feel the love of a sisterhood as well among the families, after being invited to a play date with two wives I just met that day, as well as learning of the childcare network one of the police wives group set up so the wives of the local officers could attend the funeral. There is an amazing trust that cannot be broken by shots from an irate criminal or a liberal media.

This whole anti-police movement I really do believe is aimed at the wrong people. These officers being criticized so often for their attitudes towards suspects or racial profiling are really just doing their job. A lot of the training involves certain methods for a reason. They graduate police academy as “peace officers” and yet an angry suicidal pulls the trigger aimed at the very officer who was merely answering the call of a concerned estranged wife*. I believe the problem therein lies.

Often times, many of these activists speak out before having all the information, quickly assuming a badge represents a man or woman hungry for power and authority, quick to pull the trigger when his respect is at risk. Edmund Burke said, “Evil prevails when good men do nothing.” All of you good people out there who know the truth must speak out. Say hello and thank you to your local officers. Thank them for answering the armed robbery call and chasing down the culprit so he won’t terrorize your community again. Thank them for catching speeders so one more life can be spared, even if it means you may have to pay a fine once in a while for going ten over. Thank them for blocking traffic while trying to finish that crash investigation, because one day it may be you they are helping. Please teach your children that police officers are the good guys, even if they do carry a gun, because they are.

I think that’s what my husband meant—for once, even if for two seconds, people cared. People realized what these officers go through, maybe if just one day of their lives. People remembered who these officers really are. They are good men and women who feel a constant tug on their hearts to serve and protect in whatever way they are called. And in the wake of tragedy and mourning, people stopped to remember these men and women are truly servants and protectors, and really do make our world a safer place.

*R.I.P. Trooper Clark. Thank you for service. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/nicholas-clark-cops-new-york-state-trooper-shot-dead-responding-to-call-over-suicidal-man/

travel with kids: pittsburgh

Looking to take a trip as a law enforcement family on a dime with little time and little kids? A membership to any of the local Association of Science Technology Centers will allow just that, guaranteed fun! (http://www.astc.org/passport/) I am blessed to receive a membership every year to the Cleveland Museum of Natural History as a birthday gift, which means free or discounted admission to multiple science centers and children’s museums in almost every state, so long as it is outside of a ninety-mile radius. Our children have become expert travelers for day trips and if it is more than three hours a way, we’ll stay a night or two.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has been one of our favorite places and the city that started our travel addiction. Duquesne Incline, Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, and Carnegie Science Center are all must do’s, although if we would have known exactly what the incline was we may not have done that one from first glance! I’m glad we purchased the tickets ahead of time. (h ttp://duquesneincline.org/)

It was an amazing experience riding a century-old cable car up the side of Mount Washington and then not only wandering the museum, offering an experience that will take you back in time when the incline was a primary mode of transportation, but getting to witness the view! Be advised, the ride up is pretty rickety, but we happened to catch one of the tour guides on the way down who ensured us our safety and explained the extensive tests the cars and cables undergo.The kids had no fear, wondering why Mom and Dad were rushing them off at the top (haha). The view from the observation deck alone was worth the udder horror on the ride up, as it overlooks the entire city.

The Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh is an all-time favorite for our kids. All the basics of a children’s museum are covered… the painting area, light bar play, mechanics. But what makes this place so amazing is the full-floor water play layered with a drainage floor for maximum fun. Fountains, pipes, boat racing, all kinds of activities for the kids to enjoy and lots of sitting areas for the caretakers to relax. We planned a trip back centering around this water area! Pool attire is recommended, which we will be bringing next time. Dryers and changing areas are available as well.

Once we discovered that the children’s museum and the Carnegie Science Center are ASTC-certified, we decided to go back to Pittsburgh for a day, but ended up spending so much time in the science center we didn’t make it back to the children’s museum! The cornerstone to the science center was the tour of the USS Requin Submarine complete with a full-size torpedo to greet you as you enter the sub. The history comes to life as you squeeze through the hallway peering into each room—the kitchen, the bedrooms, the closets, the engine rooms. The tour is then topped off with memorabilia from the actual soldiers who once lived upon the magnificent vessel.

We are looking forward to another trip to Pittsburgh soon, possibly doing our first full family camping trip at Yogi Bear’s Jellystone Park and checking out Laurel Caverns. Wherever the road takes us, we will keep making memories and appreciating the moments with our LEO.

if you only knew

Earlier today as I sat down, I decided to do a quick scroll through Facebook and saw a picture of two girls in softball uniforms, at least one of them the daughter of a police officer, with some writing on the their arms that made me do a double take. Written on them were the last names of two local police officers who were shot and killed going to a 911 hang-up call just a few short months ago. They had written the names to honor those two families who would not be showering their fathers with hugs and gifts today for the first time. If they only knew that last year’s Father’s Day would be their last with their daddies…

My heart aches for those five children who lost their fathers and the two wives who lost their husbands on that day.

As I looked around at the decorations the boys stayed up late last night to hang, it made me treasure once again every moment we have together. The morbid thought did cross my mind as we ran streamer across the ceiling and blew up balloons that there was a chance my husband and their daddy would not be home in the morning to see all that they did.

Just the other day, while I was sitting around the table having dinner with my children and playing outside, my husband was in the middle of the woods for hours with four other officers looking for a man who fled after being pulled over for a simple traffic violation, presumed to be armed. I missed this call on the scanner and was not aware of this until the following morning, but it was one of those situations that make you ensure to cherish your marriage every single moment. If I only knew what situation my husband would be in that night…

The emotional toil of being an officer or being a loved one at home, waiting anxiously for that officer to walk through the door, could make a person crazy if they focus on what could go wrong. But instead we try to focus on what could go right, look at the difference our LEO has made and continues to make, and honor the fallen who made the ultimate sacrifice. Although really it’s their families that made the biggest sacrifice. If people only knew what an officer, a soldier, any first responder really, and their families go through on a daily basis…

Most importantly, we do our best to remember that no matter what happens, we’ll all be reunited someday in a place where there is no injury, no sickness, no criminals, and no death. Knowing that is best reassurance possible.

installs to outlaws

I never knew or truly appreciated what an officer had to go through to get to the position where he or she is currently serving. I did not realize how many people desire to become a peace officer either until I saw it first hand with my own husband. Some make it, and many don’t. My husband worked his behind off to be in the first group and his story is truly awe-inspiring.

I take you back about a year and a half ago, when my husband just had his ten-year anniversary working in an install bay, putting in car radios and remote start/security systems into an array of vehicles. He enjoyed the job for a long time, but it was getting old. And then came the breaking point…

In November 2017, my husband was diagnosed with a herniated disc with sciatica. Between his type of work and a corner-cutting chiropractor, he was left with back pain that sent a shooting sensation down his leg, causing him to walk hunched over with a limp and wake up in dire pain multiple times throughout the night for five months straight. He tried everything he could find to avoid surgery… visits to the neuromuscular massage therapy, getting stretched on an inversion table, at-home stretches and massages, physical therapy. To no avail. Finally we gave in to surgery in March 2018 and bam, he was cured.

This is when we decided God was calling us to something else. He even gave us a sign when we got to sit behind Chris Swanson on a plane ride home after a convention where we heard Chris speak. Chris is the undersheriff of Genesee County in Michigan, a motivational speaker, author, and a huge influencer for my husband to go into law enforcement. And it didn’t help that Chris shouted out to those around us that “This guy is going to police academy!” (or maybe it did).

After a couple months off to heal, my husband went back to installing to continue to provide for his family of six. But we knew what he was supposed to be doing. Only four months after surgery, he passed his first physical agility exam and began the process of interviewing for a peace officer position.

That’s when we knew it was game time. Thankfully we fell in with some amazing mentors when we were the ripe ole age of twenty, and were able to save enough money (and pay off a huge chunk of debt to decrease expenses) through their mentorship and the Financial Fitness principles taught by LIFE Leadership, and had enough in the savings account for my husband to take a sabbatical from work to attend police academy.

Meanwhile, all four kids only getting bigger and more expensive, we pressed on through the academy, trying to pinch pennies and still investing in our family as well as in the police interview process, which is not cheap either. These men and women have to pay for physical fitness tests, paper tests, and then invest time and gas money into background checks, panel interviews, chief interviews, and more. It is truly amazing what they go through to do what they are called to do.

Finally we were blessed with a conditional offer from a local department just prior to the completion of academy. About a month after graduation, my amazing husband passed the state test and was sworn in two days later. He has since done some amazing things on the job, even still in training. I could not be more proud of him, and could not appreciate law enforcement officers more after watching first hand what they do in order to serve and protect our communities. Give an officer a smile, a high five, or even a thumbs up today. Let them know you appreciate what they do!