Motherhood – Page 2 – four crazies and a cop

why fitness matters to me and should matter to you

As a mom of four, I drink more coffee than the “recommended allowance,” which means I’m hooked. Anything we can’t easily just give up, I would consider an addiction. Sometimes addiction can be good… like Orrin Woodward talks about being positively addicted to Christ, to the love of his wife, and other good things.

Now of course, even certain positive addictions can get out of hand. I remember Elizabeth George relaying a story in her book A Woman After God’s Own Heart about her husband walking in as she was preparing a wonderful meal for someone else as a ministry. When asked what they were having for dinner, the response was less than satisfactory. She was so busy serving others, she failed to serve her own family that day. Serving can feel good, and that feeling can become an addiction or an idol in our lives if we don’t keep it properly balanced with other priorities.

As far as fitness, I have seen moms who were “addicted” to fitness, or to looking good. I am no expert by any means in motherhood or in fitness, but I love both. Motherhood is a higher priority for me, but as a family, we all can make small sacrifices for each other. It all comes down to our motives. Sure, I want to look good especially for my husband, but I have a tendency to swell at compliments when someone notices the weight I’ve lost or the commitment to my exercise and nutrition program. And seeking those compliments can easily become an idol for me if I’m not constantly aware.

On a positive note, I believe being a “fit mom” sets an example for my family of truly treating my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Having fitness goals also helps me apply 1 Corinthians 9:27 to my life: “I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” I know I rarely feel close to God after a midnight binge in the cupboard. Next time you feel guilty about taking time for yourself to exercise, remember the benefits for your husband, your children, and everyone else you serve, as well as your temple. Here’s to a happy, healthy life!

a few thoughts on blessings and time

Some things in life can not be explained. Why would God allow one person to make millions of dollars only to blow it on drugs and premarital relations, while another searches the garbage innocently to find a scrap of food? Why do I lay in the comfort and warmth of my own bed next to my wonderful husband while another woman hides in terror waiting upon the arrival of her abusive spouse? Why does a crack addict bare children with handicaps, beaten and scared with no stable person to care for them, while the barren woman desperately cries for months on end waiting for just the chance of carrying their own? And yet, the crackhead, the barren, the blessed–they were all fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and we are all COG POW’s (as learned from Pastor Carrie Antzcak): Children of God, People of Worth.

I love the saying “If you are blessed, be a blessing.” It is our job to discern how God calls us to be a blessing. As wives and mothers, it can be hard because those missions come first. It is all and well to volunteer at the church, serve the hungry, or reach out to the needy but not at the cost of neglect to our families.

We try to involve our kids in a variety of missions and volunteer work in hopes of some sort of compassion sticking in their hearts. I want them to look back on their childhoods and remember service being a priority. And by no means is our family perfect. In fact, some days, the ungratefulness of my kids and sometimes even my own heart makes me wonder if any of it is making any difference. But then I’ll have a chat with God and realize that’s just the devil trying to get in. They’ll remember serving at the community dinners, picking up litter in a hard neighborhood, or putting together tie blankets at a local Linus Project event.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it (even if he tries really really hard to do so mid-childhood and rebels against everything you’ve taught him) (Proverbs 22:6, parentheses added). God will reward your effort, in this world and in the next. But it’s all in His timing, and that’s the hardest part.

making a leo family work

Having a full-time law enforcement hubby can be tricky to juggle schedules, frustrating when he is gone for twelve hours straight four to five days in a row because the training happened to fall in his long week, and at times downright stressful. But we have to remember why they do what they do, and why we do what we do. If you are like me, you have been called to be a wife and a mother first and foremost. Being a LEOW is a special role to play. There are some things I believe we can do to help make life a little better, and our families a little stronger. Twenty years from now, when I am reflecting on the days of having four young kiddos in the house, this is what I will remember doing to make our LEO family work…

1. Family Trips. Before my husband began his on-the-road training, we agreed to take at least one overnight family trip every quarter. These trips have been the best memories! Normally we keep them within two hours away, which will probably increase as the youngest grows out of toddlerhood. Planning involves finding the ideal “short week” to travel within and deciding which museum to visit. I am blessed to receive a membership to our local natural history museum from a family member every year for my birthday. Because this museum is ASTC-certified (Association of Science-Technology Centers), we qualify for the Travel Passport Program which allows free admission to multiple science centers and museums in just about every state as long as it is outside of a ninety-mile radius. There are at least five qualifying places within two hours which make for a wonderful quick overnight stint and some awesome experiences. Even if we didn’t receive the membership as a gift, it would be well worth the money, especially with four kids!

2. Date nights. My husband and I agreed to make sure we do at least one date night each month. This has been a variety of things, depending on the budget and expenses for the month or what events are happening. We are both UFC fans, so a few times a year we’ll go grab a drink and watch the fight at our favorite local bar (thankfully we don’t live in the same city as his department or he might see some familiar faces he previously cuffed or cited). Depending on what’s playing, we’ll go take advantage of “Customer Appreciation Day” at the local theater (since our “weekend” is often on a Monday and Tuesday). Sometimes we just need to mellow out so we’ll pick a night to watch a movie together on the couch, pour a glass of wine and call it an “At-Home Date Night.” Being that we don’t subscribe to cable, and aside from an occasional “Live PD” or “Officer 401” video on YouTube, we don’t really watch television so Movie Night is a treat (you know, a flick that is not animated). You just have to find your niche, and as wives, we usually get to pick where we go or what we do… make sure to do something in his world once in a while even if he doesn’t necessarily ask for it.

3. Date days. We also make sure to date our kiddos once a month. Each child (except for the two-year-old; he has another year or two) gets to pick what he does or where he goes for a date day, within a $10-$20 budget and a half-hour drive. We try to alternate who goes with which parent each month also. Date days are to make sure nobody gets lost in the mix; they all get that one-on-one attention during their special time out. And it’s always fun to get a break from the daily routine of caring for four youngin’s.

4. Family nights. Just before our oldest turned three, he fell from a tall kitchen chair and broke his femur. Having an eight-month-old baby as well as the two year-old in a full leg cast led to a lot of movies being watched. From this came the tradition of Movie Night which ended up falling on Fridays. Once the oldest started school, Movie Night was highly sought after as a time to just chill out and cuddle with everyone. Eventually Cleaning Party* was added in, making Friday evening a time to “work hard and play hard” together. Movie Night was exchanged for Game Night upon participation in Screen-Free Week with our church group and ended up being so much fun that we now alternate. No matter the activity, Family Night is a time set aside for us to make sure we are catching up and having some fun in the simplicity of our home.

5. Overnight trips. My favorite! At least once a year, just the hubby and I go off somewhere overnight. I’m sure once the kids are older we’ll be doing this much more often, but for now, we don’t want them to overstay their welcome at the grandparents’ house. We usually stay within a couple of hours away and somewhere simple, but it is wonderful to get that time with just us. After all, you’ll be living with your husband a lot longer than you will be living with your children. Make sure you to be reminded what it’s like to be with just him again! And it usually means someone else is cooking–yea!

These are five things we have made sure to do to make our family work even before my husband became a LEO. We’ve had to revamp some things, but it still works even with shift work! By no means are we a perfect family—we are far from it! But twenty years from now, I know I will have no regrets in making these five things a habit, and I know our family is better because of them.

*Cleaning Party- a weekly time on a set night when each child picks a chore from a hat (they now work on rotation), Disney music is blared, and the floors and bathrooms get scrubbed/vacuumed, followed by a half cup of pop (since pop is only allowed at “parties,” this makes it a special treat).

10 things a mom has in common with a cop

With Mother’s Day kicking off National Police Week, my mind wandered to the similarities between the two professions. By no means do I wish to diminish the honor of these amazing heroes, especially this week memorializing the ultimate sacrifice. However, it is important to add a little humor to our lives. That being said, these phrases are from actual job descriptions of peace officer positions.

10. Work normally consists of routine patrol. Routine makes it all run smoothly, if you can actually stay on it.

9. Performs administrative support tasks. Every incident needs a detailed report, of course (even if it is the same information you just gave the doctor, the school, and the Scout master).

8. Issues summons, citations, and warnings. ALL THE TIME. (Summons refered to Judge Daddy.)

7. Enforces laws and maintains public order… although I’m not so sure how much “order” is involved on most days on this end.

6. Conducts investigations… often times listening to both sides give excuses and justifications for why it is not his fault.

5. Handles high-risk tactical operations. This is what I would consider grocery shopping with four kids.

4. Responds to public safety calls (also known as tattling).

3. Handles hazardous devices/substances. No details necessary.

2. Interacts with a culturally and socially diverse population. The general public can either be for us or against us, and can be quick to give backlash upon the hint of one wrong move, often times with the false accusation of unjust motives (even if they have been created by the same two people, raised in the same household).

1. Loves unconditionally. Okay, this one is not from a department job description… but it does come from the supreme job description. The ultimate form of love—John 15:13.

If only motherhood had a mandatory academy and certification prior to giving birth…

*John 15:13 “Greater has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

backing the blue while cleaning the poo

Yes, this is my first official blog. No, this is not my first rodeo. Mother’s Day is coming quickly upon us and this blog is to celebrate the mamas out there, especially you Law Enforcement wives and moms out there.

Let me introduce myself… my name is Mary. I am the proud and crazy mother of four wonderfully “all boy” young males, a home-school teacher, a runner, and a rookie law enforcement wife, as well as many other things depending on the day. My husband was just sworn in four months ago, and already I have seen the amazing community in this profession.

But I also know there may be some ladies out there who are burnt out and may have grown weary to the position in which they have been blessed. Galatians 6:9 says not to get tired and give up for we will reap a harvest of blessing in due time. I want you to know you are amazing, and what you do matters. Those men could not do their jobs if they did not have you to pack their lunch (or dinner or breakfast), to keep their uniforms clean, to come home to every day or night, and yes, to keep the diapers clean on our future law enforcement officers.

So whether it’s physically with your LEO or listening to him on the scanner, I hope everyone one of you are able to enjoy your Mother’s Day and remember you are loved and appreciated!